Feature: TV sports viewing in the year 2029 - November 2004  

S&T is extremely environmentally friendly. Therefore, we are only too happy to recycle something that our editor, Rachael Church, was asked recently to contribute to US newspaper The Baltimore Sun. Here, she answers the question, "What will TV sports viewing be like in 25 years time?" Please note that these views are solely those of the editor after several glasses of wine and are in no way representative of her views as a serious sports business consultant. (Although she does believe the world is flat and the moon is made from blue cheese. Well they are, aren't they?)

"It is the year 2029 and I am nearly 60 years old. The analogue signal to my faithful miniature black and white television was finally turned off five years ago (after the Digital Coalition overthrew the UK Regulatory body OFCOM in a coup d'etat), but I keep the set in my kitchen as a shrine to days when life was less complicated. I go to my refrigerator and ask it to dispense the usual mundane cocktail of vitamins and minerals (that of course expand in the stomach, creating the illusion of feeling full. I still remember the days of Domino's pizzas and Indian takeaways fondly). The widescreen television embedded in the door of my fridge informs me that I have 2,000 new e-mails, 1,885 of which are spam and have been duly annihilated. The screen switches automatically to my diary for the day, informing me that I have a video-conference call to ArkSports Asia (based in Asia's capital city Beijing) in 30 minutes time.
I ask the screen to switch to television mode, and it doggedly scans the 800 channels, finding the relevant morning sports headlines for me. I ask it to stop at the announcement that Tim Henman has finally admitted that he is never going to win the Wimbledon Tennis Championships and is retiring to the Alpha One Lunar Resort For Retired Athletes near planet Mars. I tell the fridge to e-mail the clip to my cellphone for future reference.
Unfortunately, my cellphone is now so small that I know that I will never find it. But that's not a problem, as most of the SMS messaging I do these days is transmitted by thought (thanks to the microchip that was implanted in my brain in 2022). The rest is done by my personal assistant and Hollywood AllStars Robot, Brad (who is also my husband). Sports programming is now controlled by a conglomeration owned by Rupert Murdoch, who, thanks to cloning, will live for eternity. Because sports fans are no longer able to attend events live (due to global warming), all contact with sports codes is via the medium of television (which of course is also a computer and handy vacuum cleaner). Athletes and players participate interactively in their sports via virtual reality; plugged into super computers from their luxury hotel rooms, thus preventing potentially litigious injuries.
Soccer matches have been reduced to 10 minutes in length (to keep salaries and rights fees down), and outcomes are voted upon by viewers at home. Today, I decide that Exeter City FC will win the Global Premiership, thrashing arch rival team Real Barcelona.
Meanwhile, online gambling has finally been made legal in the US, so I check the country's odds for the only sport whose result cannot be determined by fans, Darts, which is also now the only Olympic sport, and back Phil 'The Power' Taylor to win his 35th World Title. Knowing that I am now fully exhausted by such effort, the fridge orders me to have a lie-down with Brad and dispatches me to my velvet-lined boudoir with the promise that it will wake me 2 minutes before my Beijing call, thus allowing me time for a virtual shower, sponsored by McDonald's."

Rachael Church - Editor

What do you think sports TV viewing will be like in 25 years time? Or are you more worried that the moon might be made from cheese? If you have any comments or feedback on this article or any of the features in S&T, we would be delighted to hear from you. Please e-mail your comments to editor@sportandtechnology.com. Go on, it would be rude not to.

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