View From the Editor: Is there a doctor in the house? - February 2006  

Readers, S&T is coming down with a headache. And bubonic plague. And our limbs have just been severed by a large John Deere combine harvester that’s on day release from the John Deere Pavilion in Illinois, which, and we quote: “houses a variety of interactive computer exhibits and a number of John Deere machines that guests can climb upon.” Oh joy!
Yes folks, S&T is penning this column on a day in the UK which is officially the most popular for ‘taking a sickie’ in British parlance, or ‘taking the day off work through illness’. This is apparently due to UK citizens being at their lowest ebb, what with the festive season being a distant memory and the first bank holiday of the year being ions away and all. By incredible happenstance, the day coincides with the most popular day for also bunking off work in the US, but that country’s reason is less to do with depression and general lethargic laziness and more to do with hangovers and lack of sleep, seeing as it is the day after the Super Bowl. Rock on!
Fortunately for you dear readers, S&T enjoys nothing more than sitting down at our PC of a first Monday morning in February and typing sweet nothings to our faithful supporters. Or typing actual nothings, some might say. (Harsh, but fair).

Out for the Count

S&T is recently back from a trip that involved staying at the same hotel as many members of a ‘Blood Convention’. Whilst S&T was disappointed not to spot any obvious signs of vampirism, or pale looking folk knocking back tomato juice and vodka in the hotel bar like it was going out of fashion, we could not go to sleep that night without first spraying a bit of garlic puree around the door handles and surrounding ourselves with crucifixes. (Or was that the other way around?)
Meanwhile, back at ArkSports Towers in London, S&T was delighted to hear from a reader who was enamoured by last month’s View From the Editor in which we mentioned an alleged government plot in the US to ‘invade’ people’s brains via radio signals. We inexclusively reported that the only protection is to don a pointy hat made of tin-foil, to deflect the signals. “I thought S&T might also like to know that, according to certain experts, it is also possible to pick up radio signals through teeth,” writes our avid reader. “The combination of metallic fillings and saliva are apparently conducive to acting as a semiconductor that could detect an audio signal.” “Wow”, we can’t help thinking. Does that mean if you put your iPod in your mouth, you can act as a giant human amplifier-cum-beatbox? And what happens if you do that while wearing a pointy tin hat at the same time? And what happens if you do all those things and you are a dentist? S&T feels an entire new craze coming on among the young folk. Or the insane. Or among insane young dentists.

Completely hatstand

Talking of insanity, S&T has to go and walk our pet carrot now and then boil up a few back issues of Cosmopolitan Magazine into a wholesome broth. That’s after we have rewritten the complete works of Shakespeare of course in text speech (or should that be txtspch). (What do you mean, someone has done that already?! Has the world gone completely hatstand?)
Before that, we thought we should take this opportunity to bully you, we mean, remind you one last time that there are only a few days left to buy a ticket for the must-attend conference of 2006 – that’s Sport and Technology: The Conference 2006, in association with BT Media and Broadcast, that will held at the sumptuous BT Centre near St Paul’s Cathedral in London on Thursday 23 February. With only literally a handful of seats left, we urge you to book your place today if you don’t want to miss out on hearing top industry experts discussing the pertinent sport and technology-relate issues of the moment. Or the chance to hobnob with the crème-de-la-crème of the sport and technology marketplace. The only excuse we will possibly accept for you not being able to make it is that you will be at the Winter Olympics in Torino. Competing. In the Ladies Figure Skating or Curling events. And even in those cases we will require a note from your doctor.
Talking of which, we’re phoning in sick now and then will be off down the park for a spot of skateboarding with Dave (our pet carrot). Hopefully see you on 23 February at BT Centre!

Rachael Church
Editor

Have you ever seen a carrot skateboarding? Or how about a skateboard carroting? If you have any comments or feedback on this article or any of the features in S&T, we would be delighted to hear from you. Please e-mail your comments to editor@sportandtechnology.com. Or watch television instead. S&T loves the new series of Prison Break in particular.

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